15 years I searched for love
Gave all I could
15 years I found only betrayal and heartache
Felt pain more than anyone should
2 years I have waited telling myself it was love
But only rejection I got until I could make excuses for him no more
Tried to move on and chose wrongly for he loved another
Fool was I to believe I could be a wife and mother
Walked away I did promising to safeguard our frendship
Only to find that when he was safe he not only betrayed but soiled my new courtship
Before the travesty I met one like no other
A one of a kind gem that I'd thought I'd treasure forever
He showed me love like I've never seen before
A perfect companion one only hears of in folk lore
Before him I'd resigned to never finding love
Accepting that the only soul mate I'd have would be my own blood
Decided had I to adopt and be happy
Then he came along and made me all sappy
Romance and court me he did so beautifully
Never had I believed another could fulfill me so completely
Days seemed plentiful with the little things for me he did
Nights seemed blissful with the precious moments we shared
A match like him I could never find
Who met me head on heart, body, soul and mind
Happy and content with life at last
That I blissfully ignored my past
True they say it catches up wen u least expect it
Nothing not even the truth I now realize can ever diffuse it
Damage it did not just to our newly found paradise
But took away my happiness leaving me profoundly feelin its demise
Told myself I shouldn't be affected but fallen for him I had
So hard that gettin back to life just seems too bad
Exist I do with nothing to look forward to
After all, when you lose perfection nothin else can compare to
Grief seems a gentle word for the devastation I feel inside
Yet smiling for the world I must continue on the outside
Letting go is the hardest they say
But what do u do when u realize it was all a lie anyway
I wonder now how much was real
Or was it all staged to make me pay
Frends & family urge me to move on sayin he feels not the same
Yet how can I when he was the only one who could make me tame
He made me feel like no other
Made me wanna do things that would otherwise make me shudder
He brightened my day with only a smile
He brought me to life only to kill me again
Meant for each other we were
Only to be separated by another
How could I have loved in time so short
How could he have so torn me apart
He took me to heaven but has left me in hell
Will the memories be enough or will death be the only thing to break the spell
Forgotten I have again how to smile
Nothin anymore seems worthwhile
I had finally found paradise, destiny he said
But fate had other plans - In our beginning was our end!
Lady luck take me away I beg you, u will; please say
For my fate is sealed and hell is the price I pay
Death upon myself I wish
For I finally found my one true love whom I have forever lost
Blame myself for fallin in love wen I shouldn't have
How could I have known it was shortlived when my life I gave
Does he hurt I wonder
Or does he find me and my pain a blunder
I see him everywhere, everything I do reminds me of him and the things we used to do
I miss all our moments and now see only the day I rue
Wish I could turn back time, say the things I hadn't said
Or even further back to have never met the one that caused the problems if any difference it would have made
Life is for living and not for existing
This was the last time I gave of myself now I stop fighting
No more shall I love again I pray and tell
For he showed me heaven but has left me in hell !!!!
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