To ma Fold Finder

Its a quarter after one n I need u now!
I'm lonely but I dnt wanna b.
I wanna b ur one n only yet I'm scared u mite change ur mind.
Feel like I've found paradise n seems too good to b true.
I wish r hearts wud come together as one.
Its too soon but I dnt wanna loose u wen it took so long to find u.
I wish u were here rite now to tell me it will b alrite coz in ma heart I kno this is worth it.
N I'm hopin n wishin n prayin that this was meant to b!
I'm here without u n I'm dreamin of u n waitin for u to complete me! Ur so amazin I just wanna spend every min of every day with u!

U FINALLY FOUND ME!!! dedicated to the one I love the most in this world :) my sweet lil brat

For years I kept searchin, never really knowing what I was looking for.

Nothing seemed to match up, not one of them could keep up.

Each had a fault and yet it always seemed mine.

I couldn’t hold on to anyone for long, mayb deep down I really didn’t want to…

They told me I should wait and just let things happen -- I didn’t believe them

They said love would come to me and I said I quit believing in love

They said you would find me and I said no such thing were ever possible

They said you would change me and I said that no such guy could ever be born

I believed I was jinxed and that love for me just wasn’t meant to be…

I hated what I had become.. just a shell with nothing inside

Life had become just another act and I - a puppet in the play.

Then I met you and smart alec that I was I ignored you and pushed you away

People said I was a fool but I brushed them aside

But little did I know my feelings you’d already ignited inside

As lady luck would have it, or mayb the gods just felt pity

But either ways I got one more chance at love and life

I never really knew me till I saw me through your eyes

You showed me who I truly am and the potential I have stored inside

You seem to complete me and that truly amazes me

My feelings for you seem to be out of the blue and that astounds me

What really astonishes me is how real and deep those feelings are

Almost as if that’s all there is to it -- nothing more and nothing less

You make me smile when all I wanna do is frown

You treat me like a princess wearing a crown

You don’t just think I’m good lookin you make me feel beautiful

When I feel empty you fill me without a question..

You never doubt me instead you encourage me.

You don’t just make my world go round for me…U  R  MY  WORLD

Its unbelievable how quickly I’ve become so close to you that I can’t let go

Yet it seems that destiny knew exactly what she was doing all along

For this is truly the first time I believe I’m in love.

Though I don’t ever wanna part from you, prepare myself I will

Coz never will I want you to be unhappy, I’d rather….

But you found me and changed me

I now believe I finally found what I’ve been searching for

And so this is my sincere prayer today…

That you and I forever shall be one – soul mates as I believe us to be…

And if my prayers are answered forever I promise to love and cherish thee….

Someday

Once bitten, twice shy
Twice bitten, forever shy
Yet what is it that keeps me with you
Despite the hurt I still wanna stay
My heart seems broken
The pain better left unspoken
Will we forever bleed
Or will we someday heal
I want nothing more than to be with you
For some reason though you think none is true
I numbly watch all my dreams shatter
For nothing but my broken heart matters
What do I do to prove to you
That we are better as one
When you only see us as two
How can I prove my love is real
When misery seems to our fate seal
How do I tell you I cannot breathe
Whenever you are far from me
And the thought of losing you is sown like a bad seed
All I can do is hope and pray
That you will be with me someday.

Of Clans & Tribes; Of Love & Hate

There are so many tales of old,
spun on lovers of every clan or tribe passed down as history to be forever re-told.
Back in the day most tribes n clans whether Indian or Scots,
were nary a friend to each other n for their luck they cast lots.
They hated with as much passion as they loved,
Aye, they ensured their hearts for emotion were never starved!
For many a year to this day, the young couldnt intermingle with the opposing enemies,
yet that never stopped them from falling in love and having families;
albeit, it cost them - that of distance from their loved ones as well as the tribe,
or as in todays terms cut off from the will with neither penny nor hide.
A love like that is a love to cherish
drown so deep it feels like u'll perish!
This message passed down to me and so shall I,
speak of my clan & all the stories will forever tell
To relive the history for the young and the old
of Clans & tribes and lovers behold.

N U Say

n u ask wat do I have to b insecure abt?

how do I make u c its d small things that make a big difference.

n u say I dnt understand ur friendships but do u really give me that chance?

n u think I dnt trust u!

how can u say that wen my very life is in ur hands?

how can I make u c its d small things that make my life worth living?

its not dat I dnt trust u, coz I do!

its not dat I dnt respect ur privacy, coz I do by givin u ur space.

its not dat I doubt all ur frendships, coz I dnt, I actually like most of ur frends.

Im just envious of ur relationship w others coz uve turned cold to me n i dnt understand how u can still say u care n yet not seem to share.

I miss d kindness u used to show me n ive bcome selfish n jealous n petty im sorry but its simply bcoz from u there ain't no more love n care.

Ive promised to wait but how do i make u c its breakin my heart yet ive set u free.

n i miss  frends we used to b coz u used to show me love back then

now it feels like ur emotions are all spent!

n u say u need time but u dnt how long!

through this punishment i smile n try to b strong.

n u say ur bein fair coz ur just trying to avoid making a mistake

n u say im not nor have ever been a mistake

ain't both statements contradictory?

coz if i wasn't a mistake then y do u need time to decide?

n u ask y am i so insecure?

tell me wat security do i have wen u find it difficult to even acknowledge me in ur life

n u say ur frends know - but then y cant u publicly say im ur girl?
n u say u just wanna b true to urself before commiting to me
oh but y cnt u c its d small things dat make a big difference.
I ain't gonna hold it against u ever if u say im ur girl
but if only u cud c how proud i am of u n how happy id b if u said i was urs.
Im tired of fighting, n pleading n seeming untrusting
Im so blue i dnt know wat to do
n wit everything u say u cut me open
I just keep bleeding but my heart still aches only for u
If only i cud make u c how much u mean to me.

oh y cnt u c how good we r, y is it so difficult for u to believe it so?

Im so crippled by this pain i cnt think i dnt know wat to do.
how do i make u c its d small things that will set u free
n i just pray that by the time u decide it wnt b too late for us
coz this is draining me completely n i wanna shut away the pieces of my broken heart

but still i wait;

for only ur love can heal these scars
for now im all alone n u r d one i love n i treasure ur love n dnt ever wanna lose it
n id go thru the fires of hell to prove it
n i believe in magic n i believe in r love n dat r dreamz will someday come true..

n that someday u will say u love me too..

Mirror Reflection

I look in the mirror I hate what I see
There's a shadow hanging over me
I don't like what I've become
I need to change the beat of my lifes drums
I look in the mirror I hate what I see
This is not the person I used to be
There's lot to be dealt with under the surface
Yet I act like my life is full of purpose
Darkness surrounds me, my behavior digusts me
There's a shadow hanging over me
I look in the mirror I hate what I see
Why is there damage to she that was so confident?
That even ghosts can rattle her bones is now so eminent
Where is the carefree soul that was so loving
Why, even she has deserted me
I look in the mirror I hate what I see
I see a different person staring back at me
An opportunity I have to love
Yet I seem to brood over my insecurities
These seem to overcrowd my thoughts
Leaving me feeling oh so alone & lost
I look in the mirror I hate what I see
There's a shadow hanging over me
There's a bridge I have to cross
But I wonder if my strength will last
I know the lining will be silver
so why then does my spine quiver?
I know where the road should lead
I worry whether my heart will stay happy or will it bleed?
Will I ever be the same again?
Or will this pain just never end?
Patience for my trials have I, but I am weary
It seems to much of an effort to remain cheery!
I can see the end of the rainbow
All I have to do is cross over.
Though it looks like quite a distance
It will be worth it for the happiness won't be just for an instance.
I look in the mirror I hate what I see
There's a shadow hanging over me
I look to the stars and I wonder is it just me?
Or do they hand out such cards to all for free?
But then again, maybe it just my destiny!
Who am I? What have I become?
I need to change the beats of my lifes drums
For this is not the person I want to be.
Work I will, till there's no shadow hanging over me
So when I look in the mirror I'll no longer hate what I see!!

Love Me

We both hope to meet someday at the altar
To proclaim our love and say I do
But neither know when and how
So I just wanna say these words to u
I know i'll get there before u do
But baby please know that I won't give up on u
I'll be waitin for u
Come when u are ready to
No matter how long that may be
And between now & then
Till I see u again
I'll be loving u
Waitin for u to love me

Shattered Dreams & Wounded Hearts

I made her a promise to stand by you
even though she warned me initally good times would be few
Now she's gone and I have no where to turn
All the while the pain in my torn heart seems to burn
Ur actions say u care but in ur words say u dont know anymore how to feel
every single word i hear is like a sliver of glass jabbing through my ordeal
I thought i was strong and no more would i go wrong
and then one day u came along
I thought i was through with being ripped open
for everyone i loved was always from me taken
I had promised myself never again would i open myself to this pain i felt
but only with a look u seemed to have the power to make this vow melt
I had barriers so high, scaling them would've detered another
but for u, without even tryin they simply ceased to exist altogether
A touch of joy, a ray of sunshine, a fountain of glory, all seemed too less
to describe what we had and felt together - a world without stress
Then like a dream i simply watched as i saw it shatter
as if it were only made of glass and not of matter
I tired to hold on but it seemed in vain
u had completely shut me out of ur grief and pain
I struggle with myself as i wonder what to do
but try as i might i seem to have absolutely no clue
I wanna stay but i dont wanna force u to have me
so im waitin for u to accept me of a will thats free
but its the interim that is more painful than death
i hurt so much i cant even take a breath
scared of losing all am I, i wanna cry
yet i know its only time before im dealt a hand that says hi or bye
so till then shall i wait or maybe even break
with a tiny hope all the broken pieces can be put back together in love's wake.

Simple VS Complicated

Why keep it simple when you can complicate it?
A friend and colleague coined this statement and made total sense of it..
Doesn't seem logical yet thats the blaring truth of being Indian..
hard to believe -- here are some facts..

• Foreigners seem to be not guests but criminals on parole..
•  register within 14 days of entering the country..
• obtain an FRO/FRRO which is a little booklet that is provided which the applicant then fills out manually themselves and resubmits for verification & stamping..
• inform nearest police station if they are leaving the city or going to another place in the country for more than 2 week
• not all criteria always mentioned on the website, theres always something that you find out on the spot
• The bus routes are all listed on the website, but they have now taken off the excel sheets with timing of each stop.. there is no way to plan your travel .. you have to go through a number of routes before you can decide which actually works for you.. after that then you have to do guess work with regards to timing the arrival/depature of the bus from the stop closest to you
• Try getting a new pan card - especially if you're a foreign national.. its never a simple or easy process till the absolute last step of them allocating a number then it takes just a day.
• Best one - getting a PIO card (person of indian origin - by birth or marriage) if applied for within India - 4 to 8 weeks to receive, US - 2 to 4 weeks, elsewhere like Columbia for example - 2 weeks

Now do you agree we Indians would rather complicate things than keep it simple :)

Another weekend with kiaan

more than 2 weeks and i was itchin to see him.. missed d lil tyke so much.. n apparently the feelin was mutual.. he asked for me so much ive been told that im now on niya masi's hitlist...
but he is just so adorable..
shefu n kiaan picked me up sat nite.. he was so cute n cuddly n came to me almost rite away..
was a usual sat evenin chillin catchin up.. narratin tales of d weddin.. exchangin funny stories from both our pasts..
then his beloved daddy got home after a trip doing shows...
we all stayed up late watchin re-runs of dharma n greg.. love that show.. she is hot n funny.. wat a combo..
sunday was a lazy one.. mid afternoon niya masi finally showed up (esp after the - im sure very annoying to her -- txt messages from that morning and the nite before -- implying how much fun she was missin out on) of course it didnt help when kiaan went 'cori aunty' while she was carryin him.. i swear that girl is gonna commit murder soon.. n ill be the victim...
went out for lunch (a very late one) to greens.. yummy pav bhaji but terrible filter coffee (or so i heard from the ones who had it -- it looked terrible from my point of view) then went car hunting (the actual purpose of the outing) and they finalized the Teana - a fab car.. we got to be judges from passenger view point - and totally gave it a 100% score.. but lil kiaan wouldnt accept the new car even after the deal was done.. he simply ignored the new car even though he woke up in it during the test drive.. walked straight to the current car and said 'kiaan gaadi' ..
then went for wat began as just coffee at the mall.. then i took a walk with kiaan n went to cookie man.. then shefu had to get some work done .. sheri left for mass.. so we ladies decided lets check out movies and ended booking tickets.. with one hr to kill shefs txtd hubby dear to get his a** right back after mass.. and we went to organize kiaan's dinner -- milk from spencer's.. in d meantime got him a kiddie cart so he was thrilled to bits.. and most well behaved in the bargain till of course the time we had to give up the cart..
njoyed the movie and then went home after another amazin weekend with ma lil hommie and two of my best frends!!

A vacation, a wedding, old buddies, new pals, lots of family and lots more fun

A trip that started with an edge.. bordering on fun.. a 3 hour journey of laughter and food and utter nonsense.. from clicking pictures of sleepin beauties (not literal for sure) :) to hoggin on candies yummy food items to discussin the 10 kg parcel - the weddin cake!!
arriving in almost good time to barely settle in before going partyin for the evenin - a house warmin to celebrate and 2 bachelor nites of freedom before the W-day (for the bride&groom of course).
an interesting evenin doesnt even begin to describe the events that followed - from dunking the bride in water to drowning the groom in beer (what a waste of alcohol - heard a number of people exclaim !!) to painting the head usher & brides maid with mud - all wet & sloppy (& then we styled them too - at least their hair so as to pose for the camera - not that any extra nudge was required really)
then on to erasing all of the lovely memories captured (accidently of course - u know what they say about drinking & clicking  ;) - all very true i assure u)
so of course we have to start afresh & there'z never enough of clowning around if u ask me!
to the jungle jim (even if its 1am, who cares) where we teach lil Brandon tricks that leave him panting - the poor thing) and whats a jungle jim without some fancy poses or at least some attempts of them.. next up parallel bars or in this case horizontally angled..boy did my arms hurt from trying after about 10 yrs at least...
back to bed on our first nite.. should have slept late but oh no.. the village boy (as termed fondly by some) gets a helluva lot more energy here than he does in the city and that is sayin a lot since he is mostly the last one to fall asleep after a party.. so he decides to sing for us early morning (well since we slept late 9 is pretty early) unfortunately it doesnt help that he is singing one song in a loop (one or two lines specifically) and that he is almost completely off-tune.. man i wish id captured the fear on his face while trying to wake ruh..
so up we go to his house for breakfast ... and then laze around some.. while others head to the chapel to decorate it...
meet some newcomers when we reach the dorm- a lil girl whose IQ astounds us..
back to the house for lunch around when we also explore the terrace and tonks and i decide we like the mangoes on the tree and after some pretty good rustling and grabbing and squeezing through the metal bars (me being the tiniest awarded myself the honor of being tonks buddy on this one) we managed to snag 3 decent sized raw green mangoes for snacking on later --- yum yum..
so post lunch and some more lazin we feast on mangoes tendered with vinegar, chilli powder and sugar and then haul ourselves to church to continue decorating...
almost done then head to camp with the best man and grooms cuz to get some groceries.. brilliant idea strikes and we decide tonight the last bachelor/spinster nite should be fun so lets spike pani puri and have vodka puri instead.. so thrilled with ourselves we purchase the requirements..
some of the others have gone to the pool - damn i missed out on that.. but then we return with the rain on our tail.. literally.. and a late evening game of basketball till the light fades .. (this was fun to watch esp when trace kept listening to the opposing team tell her to do all the wrong things -- which she actually did, lol)
then dinner at the bride's house again -- where we laughed and joked and waited to leave to have our own fun nite .. which we did by the new dam.. with sheets spread out on the bristly ground.. vodka puri wasnt so bad till we put in the accompaniments of the damn salty boondhi.. am so glad i had the common sense to make just a lil for trial.. finally it was 2 and the bride turned in and in half an hour the groom followed suit...
couple of us moi included decided we needed sleep more while the others stayed up till about 5.30am.. remember that coz woke up to find village boy sprawled across me (where he had fallen when trying to cross beds and fell through instead)
we had invited best man rhine to room with us so was scrunched between ruh n rhine's bed and clumsy that i am, would prob explain the large purple bruise on my thigh..
woke up bright and early again thanx to our dear village boy.. gave clothes for ironing.. breakfast then lunch followed after we had visited the hall and done our bit in setting up the table pieces and rearranging the table cloths and fancy bows on the chairs.. reminsced a bit (well trace, bloss & carly did) about the good ole school days & the backstage area that held more than memories for them...
post lunch after rummaging a bit we went through carly's old albums & love letters (boy those were a lot of fun - fi did the narrating while tonks n i laughed our head off)..
new arrival - riaan with stories of his journey
time to start getting dressed.. we were finally almost down to the hour.. so no time for getting hair done.. just let it curl.. about this time is when sav, zarah n farrel arrived with damu
made it just in time to squeeze past the bride before she entered the chapel with her father.. caught a glimpse of mark standing at the alter..
click. .. click and video.. pretty much all i did besides almost tearing up at the lovely rock theme and songs selected for the mass.. right from 'going to the chapel' for the entrance to the communion one of 'from this moment'..
most memorable moment - when bloss whispered 'he didnt say it' refering to the fact that the priest had skipped the statement of 'u may now kiss the bride' :) didnt stop mark from taking his due kiss ..
soon after mass rushed out to give bloss the bouquet she forgot and then rushed to the hall to put up the last minute table decor we re-used from the chapel..
off to change into my hot evenin outfit or as riaan put it 'my tarty dress' .. (didnt wear it to the church coz it exposed too much)
last minute rush to organize the cake and knife with a mad dash to the chapel to get decor for the knife -- finally gav U. Brian the signal to get the Bridal party.. who actually went with the idea that carly had and showed up wearin shades :)
from march past to the masala the evenin was fun and so was my dance partner.. thanx mister for lighting up my evenin - i didnt realize just how much i missed havin fun.. and thats what it was for me - pure n clean fun - njoyin the music (anglo style).. n literally dancin my blues away...
but then what's any occassion without its photo sessions (it was fun watchin bloss n mark pose) n its lil drama now n then.. all in all tho the evenin ended earlier tahn expected we managed to scoot the couple off soon enough for the first nite of wedded bliss..
the nite of course continued for us.. tho i did a disappearin act for half an hr n loved spendin time by meself on the swings.. then caught up with the others.. changed into comfy clothes and sat up for almost 3 hrs.. quietly snuck into carly's house to put back the food we taken out and feasted on..
so this nite we had more heads in our dorm.. riaan who was leavin at 6am with fifi and damu.. trace's boy toy (as termed by carly).. and rhine who slept over again.. drama king was his usual self and hunkered off in feigned anger..
woke up had breakfast and left with the bombay jet crowd who dropped rhine n moi to camp where we ricked it out to nashik.. reached the shrine in time for noon mass so attended.. met with some of the family there.. after mass ran an errand for mom which holds a funny memory for us.. went shopping for fifi's raisins and njoyed ourselves like lil kids while eating yummy malai kulfi.. came back to the dorm and rhine headed back to his for lunch with the family..
caught a quick nap post lunch then showered n left for the train station with goodbye stops on the way..
at the station decided to go by cab after all and rhine and i were elected to cart the centerpiece back..
after an almost hour delay the train came in and i was so glad of my cab decision..
then the rain started and with it my first hail storm in india.. an interestin evenin.. cabbie came finally.. started our journey back.. one black out at the first rest stop, dust storm at the second, a not so bad dinner and a break down later we finally got in to the city and headed straight to carly's where despite falling asleep sitting up.. i managed to shower and stay up a while longer.. everyone finally turned in around 2 but i stayed on the phone for almost an hour after.. and still woke up early the next day..
This by far has been the best Devlali trip ever.. how i love that place!

how C&C Inc came to be

life is so unexpected -- wonder what it would be like without all the complications?
wait, I know -- boring!
so here i was grieving for a lost one.. n the next thing i know -- im jobless!
did i wanna be like that? dont remember much actually except that i had more time to grieve or deal with my demons as it were...
so i was chillin -- managing a kindergarten school & I loved being with the kids so no complaints..
out of the blue I get a call from like my greatest idol..
she wanted to work with me or rather have me help her with gigs..
we met, hit it off like a house on fire & lo behold I now represent a good artist for India, Asia..
since things started off well, it just encouraged or rather egged me on..
it wasnt enough to just be doing something I love part time..
next step I decided its time to go solo.. n so it began..
an idea formulated, took hold and just blossomed...
C&C Inc - my baby has now become my focus..
In a span of 2 mths - 6 artists and a number of tie-ups
And this is just the beginning...
Can't wait for my life to keep spicing up & to keep surprising me ...
WOW - What A Life!

Life!!

To be or not to be..
To do or not to do..
To think or not to think..
To act or not to act..
To stay or not to stay..
To go or not to go..
The choices we have are many..
The questions are plenty..
The solutions are too few..
Yet that is the way of life for me, you & everyone we ever knew!!

The Back-up Plan

I have a dream and in my dream this is what I c..
I c me happily married to thee...
I c us living in a home we built...
I c us with kids we love...
and a few pets that we adore...
And then I run into a blank wall coz i dont know who you are...
I dream of you without having met u
I dream of us without having seeing u..
so now I don't know if you will ever be real
Thats why I have a back-up plan...
The first one was if I turned 28 and I were still single I'd marry him..
But when I turned 28 I chickened out..
so Now I have a new plan..
2 yrs to make our money and if im single i'll be his honey...
The plan is good and so are you.. I dream of thee who I think is you...
So though  think you are my back-up plan
U think I just need to admit you're the one
Time will tell whether it was a wasted spell ...
Or if my dream was meant to be.
In my heart I'd like to believe that you are he and he is thee...
So forever we shall happy be just you and me..

So much more..

Its difficult to explain what I want to say
When its difficult to explain what I feel
So much in my head that makes my burden heavy to bear
N all of it seems to make my heart feel unfair
To whom I know not; to blame or to rely on
My head, my heart, my soul - aren't they all after all just one!
Sometimes I wish all this pain would go away
And that life were an easier game to play.
But then I know I'd soon be bored
For out there I know there is so much more...

Infinito Amore

A dreamer in love am I?
Or a disillusioned fool for life?
wen i first saw u years ago; 2 another u belonged
so i walked away; as a woman - the other i didnt wanna be
never did i dream that u felt something too
but were bound by a love u thought was true
friends we remained but hardly spoke
for a gentleman were u, to ur girl always true
reunited were we more than 4 years later
at a time when ur need was dire
happy i was to be the one u turned to
so i stood by ur side n hers tho the days were few
now months have barely passed n i despair
that the last wish may just vanish into thin air
10 months in a relationship not yet defined
i wonder if my heart will survive this decline
coz i thought id finally reached the end
n a happy life was what i expected to spend.

Do i give up or still love you?
if u knew me u'd find my answer still holds true.
I patiently await the day we shall commit
& meet at the altar as we promised we would.
This much I know is true
all that my heart, mind n soul feels for u.
Times i wanna run away
coz this pain is difficult to bear.
But every kiss n touch makes for more than my share.
And it is for this that I'll keep going on
& pray that u shall return some day!
I believe my heart only u can mend
and to hold us together my love is strong enough
be it easy times or rough.
This then is my prayer
that ma brat will be mine, after all ain't it just fair?

Infinito Amore or Eternal Love shall be ours
Not just for a day or an hour but for as long as we both shall live.

They Say.. They Never Tell... The Truth About Life

They say, letting go is the best way to find out what's yours in the first place;
But they never tell you, how much letting go hurts.
They say, time heals all wounds;
But they never tell you, how agonizing that waiting period is.
They say, it takes courage to stand up for what is right;
But they never tell you, how painful is the beating down.
They say, strong decisions take time;
But they never tell you, the time taken might cost you your loved ones.
They say, life is about moving on;
But they never tell you, to be prepared that your past just might catch up with you.
They say, love is kind;
But they never tell you, the path to love is filled with thorns.
They say, you should wear your heart on your sleeve;
But they never tell you, it can be trampled underfoot.
They say, true love and true friends stand by you & last forever;
But they never tell you, they are also the ones to betray you first.
They say, you'll always know who's the one for you when you stop looking;
But they never tell you, that sometimes you may have to wait a lifetime for them to acknowledge you.
They say, life is not a bed of roses but the afterlife is supposedly bliss;
But they never tell you, death is the price you have to pay for it.
They say, once bitten twice shy;
But they never tell you, the temptations don't ever stop.
They say, you are free to choose;
But they never tell you, your choice could change you & all you know forever.
They say, fear is of fear itself;
But they never tell you, if not dealt with it can probably kill you.
They say, life is a journey - a trek;
But they never tell you, every now & then it needs a reality check.
They say, what you believe is what is real;
But they never tell you, dreams don't figure in that equation.
They say, dreams can come true;
But they never tell you, shattered ones are the most common painful truth.
They say, promises are meant to be broken;
But they never tell you, your heart is always a paid for token.
They say, life is just a game;
But they never tell you, you're not a player rather just a pawn.

Have u Ever Wondered If...

hav u ever wondered if it could get worse

like when your heart breaks
as if someone ripped it out of ur chest
tore it to shreds trampled over it
crushed it to bits n then blew it up to kingdomcome just to make sure nothin survived
when the pain of this destruction
leaves u so numb that no tears will come
and all u can do is struggle to breathe

then hav u wonderd if it could get worse

or like when you lose ur job
not bcoz u weren't good
but bcoz u wudn't bend ur principles
when the shock settles in
and you keep replayin that last talk
and all u can do is try not to feel failure

then hav u wonderd if it could get worse

or like when someone betrays ur trust
u always preferred to trust only urself
till one day that someone comes along
and u giv ur heart n soul ur whole
ignorin ur past errors n possible pain
u take a chance only to be let down
and all u can think is hell not again

then hav u wonderd if it could get worse

or like when you face rejection
all u want is to feel wanted and loved
all u ever get is we are better as friends
all u want is to be held n cherished
all u get is thanx 4 lendin ur shoulder
then one day u meet that special one
and u think u've come home at last
only to be rudely shocked that they havnt decided if ur the one
all u can do is smile n wish u were dead

then hav u wonderd if it could get worse

or like when ur world comes crashin
all u wanted was a lil love n romance
all u got was dates that didnt last
all u wanted was a home n family
all u got was friendship (thank god)
all u wanted was a fairytale forever
all u got was reality is harsher
only then did u wish u'd learnt from ur mistakes but its too late,
u're all broken beyond repair
and all u can do is giv up hope n be thankful that ur at least alive

then hav u wonderd surely nothin could be worse!!!